New Orleans 2016. Good fucking grief.
I was fresh into a relationship with somebody I was and am, madly in love with. I was excited to go to New Orleans with all my friends and NOT commit any semblance of infidelity. I was excited to tell my friends about how I’m finally in a really good place, or what seems like it will be (for a number of reasons). Fast forward to the sad realization that a number of “trusted” male friends had no regard or respect for any of this.
I was sitting in some bar with him, confiding about how I was sick and tired of not trusting the trustworthy people and literally describing how good it felt to finally be in a healthy relationship. “I can’t hear you, let’s have a smoke and talk,” he says. Ok, Alex. He grabs me beyond firmly by the arm and pulls me into a dark back room. I think, “maybe you can smoke back here?” Nah. He begins to put the full weight of his body on mine and shoves his tongue down my throat. “Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” He replies, “Sorry.” Then he does it again. I leave.
I barely thought twice about it, until I read these posts. Why is it that as women we are so goddamned used to this behavior? I pass this shit off constantly. We all do. I served this fucker so many times after hours and after the fact. He apologized, because someone I mentioned it to had told him. It’s the only reason he apologized. I sincerely doubt there was genuine remorse. And like cause, whatever, everyone will just say “we were all drunk!”
I’ve been tossing around saying this for a long time because of a number of things. Literally just now, I had a friend ask me for advice on whether she should speak about her physically abusive boyfriend for fear he might lose his job and visa, and I actually had to think about it.
This is no longer a question for me. Fuckin’ speak up ALWAYS. If it feels sketchy, it probably is.